IB Hooked - March 9, 2007

Here’s to all the fine young cannibals invading the Sandspit this week. Welcome to South Police Island now being run by them troglodytes with the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission. This week the agents for MADD will be doing some truly inspired chicken doo doo with you kiddos. They’ll try to compromise you then use you to bust bartenders in the evening with the promise they’ll cut you loose. They do this for sport and their very good at it cuz they answer to nobody, not even them morons currently meetin’ in Sodom on the Colorado but that’s another story. Being a bartender or a waitress for that matter now requires being licensed by the TABC though they can’t come out and flat admit it cuz we are a right to work state. But most if not all liability insurance writers require the bar owners to only employ those with the certification. The drill for the trogs is to find bartenders in the weeds and run minors at them mercilessly until there’s a slipup. At that point they swoop in and bust the bartender and take them to jail, the owner gets a ticket unless the bartender ain’t certified then the owner goes to jail and gets a ticket. This generally leads to a license suspension and since the bartender is out of work they’re broke and can’t fight it, can’t feed the kids nor pay the rent or utilities, ya’ll get the picture. The service folks make their dinero from tips, they’re also hit with withholding tax based on their ring. Sooo, ya’ll be nice and if your underage stay away from the bars there will be plenty of keg’ers on the beach or in the rooms.

  As for where the finned critters are concerned well let’s just say they could give a hoot as the picture that hopefully made this page can attest to. That’s Don Welch, Bill Welch and Francis Dreier, they fished the arroyo and snagged a boat limit of reds a ways back. No echando relajo this is the safest way to avoid the trogs, go fish cuz most eateries have a “you clean’um we’ll fix’um for cheap” policy.

  The Texas Great Barrier Reef permit has now been posted for public comment on the Corps of Idiot Engineers site, it’s under SWG-2006-2523. The idea is to pepper artificial reefs in Texas waters around every navigable pass from Port Misrebelle to what’s left of Sabine Pass. The other good news is that the ol’ aggie scow Texas Clipper is gonna be scuttled on April Fools Day east of the East Bank, weather and bureaucrats permitting.